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Eggsy balks and Tilde hangs up.īut duty still calls, and Eggsy eventually makes out with the woman (who’s shown in her bra and panties). Eggsy isn’t keen on sleeping with someone behind Tilde’s back, so he calls Tilde for permission: Tilde withholds that permission unless she receives a promise from him that they’ll be in a permanent, committed relationship from then on. But she takes a particular shine to Eggsy, leading him into her boudoir. Two agents are tasked with the duty, and both flirt with the woman. And to do that, apparently, they’ll need to use a condom-like sheathe (meant to be worn on the finger, actually) and put it in contact with a particular mucus membrane (accessed through her vagina). When Eggsy’s about to leave for “work,” Tilde suggests she’ll reward him later: “If you save the world, you know what that means,” she says.īut to save the world, the forces of good will have to track the girlfriend of an evil Poppy henchman. Is it possible that this American whiskey distillery might hold the key to their salvation? Could this quaint Kentucky alcohol emporium hide an incredible spy network, too?! AND COULD THAT STATESMAN HOUSE HARRY, EGGSY’S BELOVED MENTOR, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS APPARENTLY SHOT IN THE HEAD AND KILLED IN THE FIRST MOVIE?!!!Įggsy’s beloved mentor once said that “manners maketh man.” I believe that Kingsman’s creators have a different motto: “Unbelievably dubious moments maketh movie.”Īs mentioned, Eggsy is in a steady, sexual relationship with Princess Tilde. Nothing to do now but drink one’s cares away, apparently.īut as Eggsy and Merlin empty the bottle, drinking tearful toasts to their fallen comrades, they discover a telltale Kingsman symbol hidden at the bottom. When Eggsy and Merlin pursue Kingsman’s last-ditch “Doomsday” scenario-what to do, apparently, if most of the agents have been killed by a nefarious drug kingpin-it leads to a bottle of well-aged Statesman whiskey. Even the founders of Kingsman seemed to know when to call it a day. But save it with a skeleton workforce? Yeah, forget it. Hey, it’s hard to save the world most days. Only one traditional agent-Eggsy, a relatively new member of Kingsman-was left unscathed, joined in the land of the living by Merlin, the Kingsman’s IT wizard. The erudite English agency is, for all intents and purposes, gone. And picking up the pieces isn’t possible given the itty-bitty pieces they were blown into. Most of Kingsman’s superspies were axed (or, rather, blown up).
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Kingsman-a high-class London clothier that also serves as a super-secret freelance spy outfit-recently suffered a series of unfortunate (and quite literal) terminations, courtesy of villainess Poppy Adams and her illicit drug cartel. Still, few businesses have experienced the ruthless cuts that Kingsman has.
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